Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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