stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
