I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
