My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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