hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
