Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize