You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
