Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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