omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
