John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This toilet bowl is my home.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
