I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
