You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
