we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
