he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
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