The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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