I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
