I faked an abortion last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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