u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
