Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
