this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
