I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
