Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
