so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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