I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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