Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
