Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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