I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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