Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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