is your mom at the bar?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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