well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
