I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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