If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
