i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
