i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize