I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
