covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
