his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
