Pappa wants mamma naked
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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