pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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