ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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