OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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