69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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