I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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