Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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