She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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