That's intense
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
