but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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