Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
