If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Come share oat with me in your robe
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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