i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
