It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
