well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize