omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
