WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
