I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
