She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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