so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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