You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
