five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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